When Autism Is Life

“I finally got a bit of sleep last night” I thought to myself as my alarm went off at six thirty this morning. I could hear him rolling around and cooing in his bed and knew that time was short before he would enter our room and the silence would be overpowered by the sound of wheel of fortune videos that have been manipulating the sound-waves in our house for days. As the voices continued talking about some political argument on the podcast I had left playing over night under my pillow I grabbed the blankets and pulled them up closer as I pulled my legs to my chest enjoying the last few moments in the safety of my warm cocoon.

I had made it a point before going to bed to plug in the iPads and my phone celebrating that I had found almost all of the charger cords to do so. As he entered our room he grabbed the iPad that was charging next to my side of the bed only to find it was dead. He looked at me, still snug in my cacoon and said, “help please”. I sat up and grabbed the iPad charging at the head of the bed and handed it at him as he scurried off. I giggled at the realization that he had taken off the pull up he had worn over night as he ran away without a care in the world. “Ahhh if only my world could feel that free” I thought as I emerged into the world to chase the boy I loved so much.

I got him dressed and left him to the iPad while I dressed my other two children and handed them off to their dad to take them to the bus stop. Looking at the clock I noted 8:23 I have 37 minutes to get ready for ABA. So, I took a moment to check my e-mails (to see if my boss had written a reply to my email) and threw a load of new clothes i had just purchased for work from the salvation army on Saturday in hopes that they would be dry for work at 11. At 847 I realized i would not get a chance for a shower before Aiden’s therapist arrived so I tidied up a bit and just meandered until she arrived. Noting that our fridge was bare (as i had ordered groceries for pick up this afternoon after I got off work) I decided that a trip to Biggby was warranted. There I would be able to supply Aiden with a ham english muffin and would be able to stock up on the caffeine before my dad would swoop in to take him to speech with ABA in tow while I worked with another kiddo across town.

In full admission there was not a heck of a lot of therapy happening this Biggby trip. My full focus was that he ate before I went to work. Because hey, lets face it, it hurts to work when you are hungry. Aiden got his ham english muffin and his cup of ice water and laied in the booth as he always does. As I approached the counter to retrieve my sausage muffin I heard Aiden say. “doughnut holes please”. I grabbed a cup full and handed them over already feeling exhausted.

We arrived home just before work as my dad entered to take aiden to speech with the therapist. I gathered my things and my thoughts as I raced out the door Making it to my session with three minutes to spare.

As I worked I thought about my son and wondered how his day was going. But then, I love my job and I knew he was in good hands. Its still weird to see ABA from the therapists eyes. I still have to really pay attention at the end of sessions to not sign the parent box instead of the therapist box.

After work I jumped in my car and checked in at the local grocery store that i was on my way to pick up my groceries. I helped the worker load the groceries and headed home where Aiden was in his second session of ABA. I found him on a short break sitting in my bed with a wet spot underneath him. He had wet himself again. With a lack of surprise I stripped the bed and pulled out the bleach and began scrubbing. This was not the first and I am positive it will not be the last.

Remembering the conversation from our BCBA last week that I was no longer allowed to walk to the corner to pick up our children I frantically texted a neighbor to see if they would be available to pick up my two children from the bust stop and send them home. and YES! success.

Now, at 340 in the afternoon I am in full preparation for my children to all be home and when my sons therapy is finally over I will head to a local support group for those affected with autism from six until eight this evening.  I am listening to my sons tech working with him as I feel my energy level depleating but then autism calls.

I am writing this just to show you that a day in the life of autism does not leave any time for breaks. It does not allow for time to yourself but then what you get in return is far more valuable than I could ever describe. It does not leave time for a care that your childs pants are on backwards when you are just happy they dressed themselves. on the contrary, Autism leaves your life full and your life even more so. Autism is what makes your limited number of friendships that much more meaningful. And All you mommas out there riding this same roller coaster I salute you. and may all your chargers remain in working order.




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