” If you need me just throw something at me. Ill be in the other room with my headphones on” I said to the tech as she chose her programs in her ABA data program.
I have circled this computer about twenty times since Monday unable to find a second to open the screen. Wednesday, I ran through the drive through of my favorite coffee hang out before work thinking “its just a drive through and I need my coffee fix” I talked to the owner that I love so much and havn’t really looked at for more than five minutes it seems since school let out in June and as she hung out the window to catch up Aiden started pinching my other sons arm and the screaming and chaos commenced as I tried to play referee from the front seat “I better go see you later’ I said noting that soft smile on her face as I put the car back into drive. That’s why I love her, She gets it and still loves me in all my chaos. I hope one day I can be as organized and solid as she is… I wonder if she knows how much I really look up to her?
Like now, this paragraph, is being written in place of over 1500 words that i wrote, hated, deleted and yet I’m still lost on what to say. I could just give up and write nothing but then again I’ve done that for the last two weeks. Sigh, Is this a result of summertime motherhood? exhaustion maybe? or am i really at a loss for words? Blunted? In emotional shock maybe? Who knows.
My wordpress account expires in five days, to renew or not to renew is the question… Is it worth renewing when the traffic is so low? Am I ultimately writing for myself? If so, Word on windows would do without the eighteen dollars I really don’t have for the yearly subscription. I just can’t get the traffic I had hoped to attract and as of late the desire to write is there but the words are not.
Anway, a t-Shirt was just thrown at me from the greatest tech in the world. I suppose its time for that ever dreaded haircut and the shower program we have been running for about 5 months. Deep breaths Sue. In and out. In and out. If all else fails I keep telling myself 5 more weeks til school starts again. Maybe then, life will slow for just long enough for my mind to calm and the words to flow once again. Until then ABA calls. I hope all of you are having a great summer!